Iron(wo)man

IRONMAN. One of those words that a niche sector of the population regard with awe, while the rest have a vague awareness that it is a significant achievement, but without much understanding of what it actually is.So, I signed up. Deep breaths. It’s only a year of intense training, a funeral for my social life and a potential fatality on race day, no big deal!

I subscribed to the “I’m a boring triathlete with no social life and a one conversation pattern revolving around training” team, and dug deep. Very deep!I will find soon why this ruthless challenge is called Ironman. It’s probably a man’s world out there. It takes guts to do something like that and some serious guts if you’re a woman.

It is no secret that triathlon is not exactly up there at the zenith of sporting media. So imagine, then, what public interest endurance triathlon generates. Yep, about as much as a protest against the wearing of odd-coloured socks.

Let’s have a look at IRONMAN stats: There are more men than women. Many more. In fact, the longer the distance of the triathlon race, the less women there are.The average triathlete is male, aged 44–49, reflecting the rise and rise of the ubiquitous MAMILS. Is there a male mid-life crisis epidemic out there?To get back to my point, a 35-year-old woman in the world of long-distance triathlon is rare.

So, June, 2019. The big day arrived. A heatwave coming from Africa just gave France its hottest days. 48 hours before race day the sentence has fallen; the French authorities have decided to shorten the race: 3.8km swim, 152km bike and 30 km run. Despite the little disappointment, I understand the changes — Nothing will stop me from staying focus and enjoy the day!

Sunday 30th June 2019, its the big day…I walked down to the beach, I placed myself to the 1hour10 zone.Swim start is described by that overused word — epic. If you’re among 3,000 people swimming along one invisible line towards a series of buoys, you are going to get battered. It’s like being on the ring with Mike Tyson. You have to battle your way around the swim course. It’s aggressive, you’re going to get kicked, punched, semi-drowned. One guy even drowned under me. This war zone is most definitely “man terrain”.

If you survive that, it’s on to the bike. Have you ever tried cycling for more than six hours, on a course with over 2000m of hill climbing?It’s like a long picnic on the bike. Eat, drink, pedal. Repeat. Man goes past me. Eat. Another man. Drink. And another. You get the picture; Womens are an endangered species in this brutal environment.

Next up: it’s only 30km run. If you ever want to travel to dark physical and mental places, this would be a perfect holiday. By this time it’s a case of blocking out every iota of resistance that your body is desperately trying to transmit: commonly known as “mind over matter”. My strategy — WALK ONLY AT THE AID STATIONS

I completed my first Ironman in 12hours and 11minutes, and came 17th in my category. I was the 137th woman out of just 226 (bearing in mind there were 2000+ participants).

All I know is that whether you are male or female, putting yourself through something like that makes you human. Or, to the rest of the population, probably the complete opposite. I can live with that.